- Please don't play with me...my paper heart will bleed -

xaconite_thrill @ 2006-04-09T11:37:00

2006-04-09T10:45:56Z

i feels like im all the way back in the beginning
and it feels so bad

food just doesnt taste so good today
i dont think i can even stomach even eating

i thought i was meant to cry myself to sleep
instead im afraid to sleep
because i know ill dream of him
and thats fucking torture
as if having to think about him every second im awake isnt enough

i never thought id be the girl who said
"i cant even look at another guy right now"
but here i am
doing exactly that

rejection
what a arse it is

even my body hurts thinking about it
noone really gets it
i dont want to have to drag myself out of bed
but my fuckinh tutors coming
and im hysterical
cheers head

what would it take to have him in my arms
i dont know
but i know i would give anything for it

right now i feel like such a waste of space
a waste of time
a waste of love

i have so much to give
but clearly not enough
im sorry i cantbe perfect yeah?

"please be home tonight, ill die if i dont get a chance to make this just right
im sorry but i cant, forget about the way i feel everytime your near...hopeless love..."

xaconite_thrill @ 2006-03-15T15:33:00

2006-03-15T15:40:49Z

why does it feel like my whole world has just collapsed around me?

no one cares
or knows

i passedout this morning

and they LEFT me

alone..on the ground when i came too
how fucking shite is that

i have so much but i have nothing that i need
a mental breakdown at 16
good going yeah?

ive fell down
why doesnt anyone want to pick me up again?

i wish they would
i wish he would
i wish he still wanted to save me
and to make this pain go away

my mum wants me to go to the doctor
but nah...theyll shove some pills down my throat..
and ill be blissfully forgeting everything
ive lived in my head for too long
now im escaping and so is everything
i just want to be held
to be told
"im here for you"
saying it and meaning it are diffrent you know

lol..
i think im losing it

im going to start acting how i FEEL from now on
not how i want to feel
who am i kidding?
ill just depress everyone else

people will think this is a cry for attention
but its more a reminder that i exist
exist...i dont think this is ,living
im barely still here...

xaconite_thrill @ 2006-03-05T16:46:00

2006-03-05T16:52:19Z

Yeah
so i met this boy today

He kissed my head before he left
and it made me go all shivery
i guess its a good sign
my gran does that and i think she likes melol

I want to strip it all back
back to the start...
when the only problems were,
how to explain the grass stains on our knees and not get caught drunk
when holding hands was still kindofa big deal
eating cherry lolipops
and the blue tunnel
making excuses just to touch each other

i think we still want those excuses
without the stress
i think i need this
so i can calm down
and get normal

i think he wants that too...

maybe if we worked...hard
and got it back
who knows eh?

im blowing my first wage on benfit make-up..easily

make me real pretty yeah?

xaconite_thrill @ 2006-02-26T22:34:00

2006-02-26T22:37:19Z

LOL
im so hurt i cant help but laugh
if i didnt id cry
LOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOL
who would have thought it would hurt so bad huh
i think my chicken was swimming
who am i kiiding...i cant even eat

but its fine
imm gonna join a gym
get tanned
hair extensions
get fake as fuck
fake nails
fake hair
fake face
fake me
id rather hide, than face it...
maybe im a coward
or maybe im just like everyone else
bored of being themselve
and bored of everyone getting bored
chee0rs life

xaconite_thrill @ 2006-02-17T07:39:00

2006-02-17T07:42:14Z

LOL

i just woke up happy

and then remebered last night
& i just pure started crying so much...

and now im read my lines..that i have 6 days to learn

i at least know one already

"id rather tear out my own heart and put in the the freezer, before id lose her"
try lose him rosinella love

but thats it

no more fuck ups plz lora

get through these 2 weeks

and yer doing well

~~iknewthiswouldhappenagainthankz~~

i dont want to go to school

ive had no sleep and its double bio...

hmm

xaconite_thrill @ 2006-02-04T22:16:00

2006-02-04T22:16:58Z

DAVID LAUGHS LIKE A HOM.....IE
lol =)
♥xoxo

xaconite_thrill @ 2006-01-31T17:35:00

2006-01-31T17:39:43Z

1 prelim downn....4 to go GRAAARRR
at least english is gone
i was a fucking quote machine
ohh yeaaa
i dont know jack shit about malaria...
female aspohoefheiufheufiue mosquitos can bite my arse
infact on second thoughts ...naw
i might catch malaria =P
see im learing
internet is my weakness =(

xoxo♥

xaconite_thrill @ 2006-01-28T15:42:00

2006-01-28T15:44:19Z

EVERYTHING STOPS ME STUDYING
its sooo shite
GR GR GR
mini-grs...only
my mum bought me these drop to de-streess me...they taste like whiskey...maybe if i drink them all ill be shteemin=) perhaps...
EVEN ENDORPHINS STOP ME
no joke

LOL

xoxo♥
well failin on tues

xaconite_thrill @ 2006-01-23T16:40:00

2006-01-23T16:41:53Z

"today is the most depressing day of the year"-Psycology teacher

thats lies
this is the happiest ive been in fucking days
xoxo♥

p.s...will you be my valentine?

xaconite_thrill @ 2006-01-20T18:58:00

2006-01-20T19:00:49Z

dneifheo
fmnreifoejmnfo
fmreklfmew
everythings shite
im a fuck up

ive fucked up again
i wish i didnt hate her

i wish she didnt make me feellike this
but it doesnt matter,
maybe i am being petty
or maybe i just dont want to lose the one thing i give a fuck about
perhaps

ive done crying about this shite
~~whatafuckinglie~~

xaconite_thrill @ 2006-01-19T16:46:00

2006-01-19T16:50:00Z

ITS NEVER NOT TELLING ME YOU WERE ON THE FONE TO HER
finding out by brousing fucking myspace
im raging and i have no right to be
but i am..
whateverim past caring about fucking her
but i wish youd told me
you probablly speak to her more than me
xo♥
&& school is fucking shite
im too stressed out
my head hurts and i get fuck all sleep
cuz im stressed an tired
im too fed up
highers are too shite
but i love drama

xaconite_thrill @ 2006-01-18T22:03:00

2006-01-18T22:04:54Z

....FUCKIN STUNNIN'
desperate housewives
grrr...studying is so shite
ahhh there nothing like an accidental grope when blocking yer acting peice in drama is there hahahaha

xox♥

xaconite_thrill @ 2006-01-14T00:28:00

2006-01-14T00:33:54Z

I LOVE

PHIL

CUZZZ...he gets me zambooooookkaaaaaaaa
LONG VODKARSSS are the future

haha...heated up pizza..
i think my hand shouldbe burning
but its no

LOL

xox

xaconite_thrill @ 2006-01-09T20:04:00

2006-01-09T20:05:46Z

LOL
3 weeks to prelims
its a joke
im on internet
haha
im ragiiin that their this close
=(
i have to many emotions the day haha
xoxo♥

xaconite_thrill @ 2006-01-08T16:43:00

2006-01-08T16:44:22Z

RAWR
Septum piercings
whateveerr
i dont like them
but
david
plz
dont
youll be a mini-bull =(

xox♥

xaconite_thrill @ 2006-01-08T14:56:00

2006-01-08T14:57:32Z

OKAY myspace isnae to blame
its...the SOAPS
there shite
but i cant study cuz there on
im gonna get beat tmoz haha
im well ahead
oh well
omnibuseess=)
xoxo♥

xaconite_thrill @ 2006-01-07T14:40:00

2006-01-07T14:42:33Z

I FUCKING HATE MYSPACE
im trying to do my shiteload of homework
but their it is...looming in the favourites bar
fucks sake.dododnifeoferofhnrb
im that frustrated
at TOM
p.s...TOM DONT DELETE ME
*begs*
xox♥

xaconite_thrill @ 2006-01-07T00:08:00

2006-01-07T00:14:09Z

first update of 2K6

ahhh yday was well funny
me a tee are amazin=)
LOOK

fucking tm'd =)

&&

our bodys are neh sexy =)

but so bizkits gran, she tried to get taylor to stick his head up her top haha
Tam and allan have
"wee wotsits between their legs"
=)

me and lynsey drink like jakeys at new year but...i love her too

ohhh yea...davids a cute yyin hahahaha
plz dont hit me

Went to davids today....was amazin...haha...devvo
the boys
a
beast
ILY♥

xoxo

xaconite_thrill @ 2005-12-28T21:44:00

2005-12-28T21:45:15Z

wayyy last night was fun until i passed out on a cold bathroom floooorrr hahahaha =)

but ayyee pics =)

a lovers quarrel part II!!!

LOL

STUUNORS =) haha

haha squashyyy

lol its brotherly love really

aye this is a good yin ye canny see her face...hhaah

taylors chebbbss=)

blatently love him more than you =)

xoxox ♥

Photobucket

2005-12-28T21:18:42Z

This is a test post from Photobucket.com

cakesssss <3

2005-09-25T01:33:22Z

Now kiddies this is what happens if you take, lora && David...a Saturday evening...a camera...Cake mixture...And some bits ond peiceesssss just for kicks =)

How to bake cakes
By Lorachebbs & Davidface

Here is the ingredients for FAIREEEEE CAKES =)

This is my david put that camera away or ill kick your asssss face

David likes to pretennddd he can cook *bless him*

We had to take two pics of him whisking the eggs...cuz well thats all he done reallllyyy

Turn into a creaaammmy paste gawddammnn it =) i went a bit stir crazy....*cough*

But then david stole it...*tear*

WHEETTT caught on cameraaaaa man =(...thawt i was sneaky..he made me...

Next you put them in the oven...AND DONT TAKE PICTURES OF LORARRS ARSSE PLZ

Ohhh my fucking gawd....i have a face =O

David gets a bit upset about me doing most of the cooking...

Our farieeee cakes are like red bull...giive you WINNGSSSS

David decoratteed the cakes with the wee bittsss, *is proud*=)

YEAAA course he helped make the cakes...not just took pics...NOH HES NOT A TROPHY BOYFRIEND =P

OMG lalw here...eating papers the future kay?

How mongoed are my hands?

Awwweee...thats ma booyyyyy =)

David was gutted that it wasnt a nurses outfit.....

"yesss course you dont well cookin they cakes chicken *mwahr*" haha

You want me to do WHAT?...NO...not...there david!! =/

twaasss a rare weee day so it wasss =)

weve only been meaning to make these cakes for 2 months ...

<3 ive never been so happy to see a photograph of me,than when graced with your company.....ill swing from the streetlight and sing oh oh oh oh oh<3

xaconite_thrill @ 2005-09-15T20:03:00

2005-09-15T19:03:43Z

"mere till a shave yer BAWS..naw naw no you"

"im no complaining.."

ACTUALLY LOL

xaconite_thrill @ 2005-09-12T22:54:00

2005-09-12T21:56:03Z

SEEN WANKFACE WANKY CHRIS BYRNES THE DAY actually raging at the sight of him he can away kiddyfiddle FUCKSAKE RAGIN o aye and sweet sixteen innit =)

so you promised me a starry nights sky...

2005-09-10T23:33:14Z

yup it been a while...been a while =P well aye last weekend had a wee shindig wis rare...davidface came up early and i did his hair and he gave me me present BARRY the unicorn i shit you not =P but hes amazin...aye the unicorn...kinnon dawl ye know its you *looovveee* *mwahhrss*aye we had some drinks then ppl came up and we got a bit merry..then the bitch took our drink so we cracked oot the 11 bottles of lambrini =) amazin man...lol...it wood appear no one seen me or david all night...bit i can defo recall them talkin to us when we were lying on the couch...actually haha...omg grant was fuckin hilarious man..but taylor had to go home =( woke up next day feelin pure shite and coodnt eat ma breakfast lol...it was all they cocktails a tell ye!! "noh hes not a vegetarian he eats chicken crisps" "WHIT LORA?" *hides in shame* im a rid face man...5th years went to ma heeeeed lolz then had a wee day in way the burd havin dinner watchin movies and that...it was just pure nice no even doin anything just pure lazin aboot <3 LAV omg lost ma slowdancing virginity LOL then on tues went to the uni open days...for like an hour =P at least i got a prospectus *shifty eyes* then went for coffee and that with david well he got hot chocolate cuz hes no as much of a man as me blatently then went home cuz i was ill and have been all week reaalllyyy went out today with the sis cuz its the 16th on monday =) then met daviiidd and we went a wee trek then had to get a BUS actuarlly omg man...took fuckin ages *shakes fist at newton*...oh and fyi its only a ten minute walk to taylors so ye can get there in 10 minutes =) aye was at the other faces hoose =) pure a LOL so it was...me and taylors whore dancin was amaazziin...bitta rum and coke plz=) aye && mines and taylorsfaces come fae poundland!! walked david to the train...lynsey and butler in the industrail estate =) poor wee lamb was stuck there for hours...*feels pure bad but* chebbachu *love* faceamon =) x____Touched your skin and i can't take it ♥

xaconite_thrill @ 2005-08-23T23:37:00

2005-08-23T22:53:51Z

1. WHAT COLOUR ARE YOUR KITCHEN PLATES? white BUT SQUARE

2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU CURRENTLY READING? The collectorr

3. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? its white but ive made it stary and swirlyyy and get covered in pen aww the time

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE BOARD GAME?Is twister a board game??

5. FAVOURITE MAGAZINE? NOW!:)

6. YOUR FAVOURITE SMELL? house smeels=)

7. LEAST FAVOURITE SMELL? sweetcorn and bo...together or seperate whatevva

8. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE-UP IN THE MORNING? awww wheett a have tae get up?

9. FAVOURITE COLOUR? prrple /green

10. LEAST FAVOURITE COLOUR? khaki

11. HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE? like 1/2=P

12. FUTURE (or First) CHILD'S NAME: rainbow=boy zachriah mardid=gurl hawhaw

13. WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT IN LIFE? family friends love haappinnesss

14. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? Chocolate.

15. DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FAST?aye man...see me oan that mountain bike...whooaasshh

16. FAVOURITE TV SHOW? i dont knowwww...

17. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL? AYE...puppy...im a teddy molester=)

18. STORMS! - COOL OR SCARY? super cool

19. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR? the big huge ...trike..way shiny bits

20. IF YOU COULD MEET ONE PERSON (LIVING / DECEASED) WHO WOULD IT BE? too mant ppl too little spaccee..okay im making that up but whatevaa

21. FAVOURITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? LAMBRINI && VOKDARRR

22. WHAT IS YOUR SIGN & YOUR BIRTHDAY? Virgo, 12th sept

23. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI?naw brocollis insane

24. WHAT WAS YOUR DREAM JOB AS A CHILD?an angel...the maw shoot us doon in flames for that

25. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY COLOUR HAIR, WHAT WOULD IT BE?a really shiny dark brronnn

26. IS THE GLASS HALF FULL OR HALF EMPTY? full...gawd

27. FAVOURITE RECENT MOVIE? willy wonkaarrrrrr

28. DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS? is this a trick dirteh q?

29. WHAT IS UNDER YOUR BED? wee boxessss...grreeenn and purple lol

32. WHAT IS YOUR SINGLE BIGGEST FEAR? SNAKESSSSSS *cries*

33. SAY ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? no on sent me it...shit thats 5 words..now 10

34. KETCHUP OR MUSTARD? Ketchup.

35. HAMBURGERS OR HOT-DOGS? double cheesburger plz mate...aye pop that 1p in that box taaaaa

36. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SOFT DRINK? Irnn Bruuu

37. THE BEST PLACES YOU HAVE EVER BEEN? ermm...so manyyy placess

38. WHAT SCREEN SAVER IS ON YOUR COMPUTER NOW? its a blue sqigly oneee

39. PEOPLE MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? no one...=(=P

40. PERSON WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? my muvvaaa

41. ANY EXCITING NEWS YOU WOULD LIKE TO SHARE WITH YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY: yea im pregnant with ma 5th child to 7 guys....omgz...like id say stuff like that oan this *pfttss*